Pregnancy Blues

t was a gradual decline, in interest and activities that I loved to participate in. it is because I’m pregnant and keeping up with a toddler, and I am too exhausted to do this, or that-this is what I would tell myself and my husband when I didn’t want to do something.  I would wake up in the mornings, and start crying, dreading the day of what was ahead, being alone with just my kid, with no one to talk to, nothing to do, a dark cloud I couldn’t shake, even though the sun was beaming through my window, promising a bright hot day.  A perfect summer weather, but for me it was unbearable.  It wasn’t until I was on the phone with my best friend telling her through tears how hard this pregnancy was physically but emotionally.  I didn’t know that baby blues could happen during pregnancy, until she mentioned that it can and it does.

I had PPD with my first, so I expected and prepped to expect that with my second, but I didn’t expect it while I was pregnant. With a call to OB office, I was able to go in, talk and get an adjustment on my prescription.   My OB confirmed that yes, anxiety and depression does occur.  I couldn’t tell what was happening, because I just kept thinking, well I am pregnant and so emotional.



Mental health is just as important, if not more than physical.  It is a debilitating illness and we don’t need to be ashamed.  I know that PPD is more diagnosed and talked about, but I don’t read a lot about it during pregnancy. Pregnancy is looked as a happy, glowing, and emotional journey for women, and it really is, but it can also be emotionally and mentally hard, as I have come to find.  I love having my babies, and I just kept smiling to the world around me as if I was fine, but inside I was in pieces-until I was able to go in and talk about and get help. I still struggle with overcoming it as we all do with our trials, but I am relieved to get help, to know that is okay, and it doesn’t make less of a person, friend, wife, or mother.

 

Ladies, talk to your doctor, if you feel like something is wrong or notice a change. Don't be ashamed or afraid to mention your mood changes,etc especially during pregnancy. It wasn't until I talked to someone until I realized what was happening. 

For you...

Dear Little,

I have thought about how I need to protect you from the world a lot lately. How I need to show you that there is love, and help and kindness still left in people despite the constant sad, horrible, and hate that you see happening around us. How do I protect you from possible bullying and discrimination based on your gender, color, beliefs, that you may encounter in the world. I have spent many nights crying, as your dad and I have talked about how scared I am for you and your future siblings. That maybe it will be safer not to bring anymore children in such a scary world. But I can't let that stop me, where's my faith? I have to fight for what's right, find the positive that still exist in our world and constantly remind myself, we have such an Awesome, Almighty Father in Heaven, who loves all of us, His children, and will continue to protect, bless, guide and will make it all right in the end, whether in this life or the next.

I will always fight for you, and may I teach you to stand up for yourselves and others. I hope I can teach you to love, and serve despite differences, because we are all God's children. The world is such a scary place, many changes have and are happening, but may you have the voice of reason, and courage.