Gluten Free Cookies

We like to make treats on sundays for family movie nights. We were out of normal all purpose flour, and butter. I borrowed butter from a friend, and decided to use the Gluten free flour I had in my pantry from some time ago when I thought I was allergic to Gluten, because of some stomach problems.

I followed a normal recipe for chocolate chip cookies, and used the Gluten Free flour from Red Mills, instead of the normal flour. I tasted the batter and choked...this was not a normal cookie batter. I read the suggestions on the flour package and it said to use Xanthum Gum. The only one I had was also gluten free. I decided maybe it will taste better once I bake it.  WRONG!!!!  It was so so gross.  I dumped the 3/4 cup of the milk chocolate chip cookies in the batter, and had nothing to show for it. The Bills  definitely don't do good with alternates to sweets, especially my husband. His face when he tasted the cookie, no joke, looked like a 3 year old boy who has just been told Batman wasn't real, and he said " that's the worst thing that's ever happened to me" ( of course exaggerating with that statement).  Well were will defiantly be redoing cookies today for FHE ( family home evening) with normal flour. It tasted as bad as it looks. I tossed both the dough and the made cookies. Sad attempt for the Bills Household!

Dear Stay at home/work moms,

For the past couple of weeks, I have been battling with either staying home or going to work. I love to teach ( I know...dealing with 200 8th and 9th graders five days a week, crazy huh). I mean I did go back to school to get my teaching certificate, which required student loans and applying for my program. I work hard so I can finish my Post Bacc degree in Health education. To go back to school a second time months after I got done with my BS, is insane. My husband even asked me a couple of times if I was sure, since I complained and griped every day coming home to do homework. 

I got accepted into my program before I knew we were about to have a baby.  I chose to keep going so I could help provide a better life for our family. First of all being pregnant in the summer while walking up hills, stinks! I felt like a watermelon on toothpics walking in peanut butter. I mean I was 7 months and still walking to classes, everyone passed me even turtles ( ok, I might be exaggerating it there, but still). People tell you how much you will love being a mom and fall in love with your newborn. I didn't quite understand that concept until I held her in my arms, until the love I feel for this little person,wanted to burst out of my chest. This little tiny person has my whole world. I remember crying for 3 weeks straight, because I knew that after 3 weeks I had no choice but go and do my student teaching, and leave my precious baby in someone else's care. How could I leave such a small little person, she needed me, I needed her. 

But for the past 12 weeks I have gotten up everyday at 6 am leaving the house by 6:40, running on no sleep to drop the baby off and go teach. I still have two more weeks left, until I can devote myself to this tiny person who needs me, though she's now 3 months. I am on spring break, and I have so enjoyed sleeping in, cuddling her and giving her kisses until she can't stand it anymore.  It is crazy, that I thought I would love teaching. I'm a huge health and wellness advocate, so to teach what I love felt great. Now I am at this point where, I love to teach and be a mom. I have never had the personality of being still, or staying home. I am the kind of person that likes to learn, and do and wants to do everything. I love life! I have been praying and battling with myself on whether I want to stay home or work. I know that I could apply part time, but there will be no use, as that part time money will just cover a baby sitter, not even money to pay off bills. My husband has been great and is supportive in which I ever I chose. I am so aware that the world and opportunity for women have changed and that there's a stigma that has changed about stay home moms, work moms, and etc.  I don't want to get jumbled up in that, I want to do what's right for our family. I have always been a person who works to contribute, I cleaned houses at 12, and baby sat to earn money. I have always worked as soon as I could. I don't know how not to work. I mean the reason I went back to school so I could provide a better future for our family, I could help with living expenses. If I stay home I need a hobby that could bring some type of income, I just hate feeling helpless. Especially when I have the student loan for going back to school.  I'm just caught in the middle. But then as this weeks ends and I look at my precious angel, I can't imagine not being there to hear her first words, see her first walk, soothe her cries and wants and give her my whole world. 

As I stand in front of the class, how can I not teach about health, and instill what it means to care and love for our bodies through our choices. Our family goal is to pay off my student loans, and any other payments so that when we are ready to buy a house one day, we just have house payments without all the other bills coming. We know that this will take a couple of years but we don't mind. I want to help  make that happen, because it will take two of us. This is one of the hardest decesions I have faced since I had to choose who to marry. I know that once she's old enough and in school I can go and teach and be home at the same time and we'll both be gone and home the same, but that's not yet. I am also a people person and love to be around people. I know there are play dates to plan to give me chances to talk to other moms, but I sometimes also need more than play dates. I love planning and talking to other teachers, I love teaching my students and hearing their random stories. I like that some feel safe to talk to me about life other than school. I like knowing I am helping them in someway too. I keep applying for jobs, because it is still a toss up. I figure if I get a job then there's an opportunity to discuss, I am giving myself choices. I am not saying that staying home is bad, in fact it is a noble, beautiful thing to raise the next leaders of the country.  But I struggle with it. There are times I need a break from crying baby, have an adult conversation. There are times, there was nothing I could do to soothe her and we are both crying until we are exhausted and fall asleep, or until my husband comes home and gives me a break. It is truly hard but rewarding calling. In fact it is the highest calling.  For all moms out there and moms to be..give yourself credit, give yourself a break. At the end of the day, we do the best that we can, whether you go to work, stay home or do both. You amaze me, for the single parents out there, You are Strong, Bold, and  amazing.  As I still are trying to decide I do pros for both, but as always my child comes first. It is a battle within myself.  For the Stay at home moms, and work moms, how do you do it? How do juggle everything from baby to house, from baby to house to work?

"Drive in Disaster"

Our attempted date night 

It has been a while, since I have written. In fact it has been a couple of years. So much has happened to our families since then. We now have a 3 month old baby girl, named Zahra( pronounced Zara, just with a silent H), whom we call Z. She is our whole world and we are so madly in love with her. As well said by Winnie the Pooh "Sometimes the smallest things takes up the most room in our heart" rings very true in our home. I went back to school to  get my teaching degree in Health education  in edition to my BS in Exercise and wellness. My husband is an Academy Director at an art school and plays in his original band, The Strike. They are phenomenal, and this is not because I am biased, it really is great music and family friendly entertainment. Check them out @Wearethesrike.com, or on their Facebook page Wearethestrike. Ok enough babbling...thats our little family thus far. 

The Drive-In

Brady and I are both on spring break this week, and have been doing the very best to take advantage of every minute of this family time. Monday we went to the Living Aquarium 25 minutes from our home. It was so much fun for all three of us to be together. Z slept pretty much the whole tour, and woke up for the last 10 minute for our family adventure.  My sweet husband planned to take me to a drive in movie later that night, since I have never been to one and always wanted to go. We couldn't find a sitter for Z, so we brought her along. I packed the car with every essential that we may ever need ( it looked like we were going camping in our SUV). I was loving it, and getting so excited. We got pizza, sodas, movie candy, the whole works for our date night.  Z started getting antsy by the time we were in line waiting for our tickets.  I unbuckled her once we found our spot for the movie, and made the back of the car like a bed with blankets and pillows. We couldn't open the hatch to watch  since it was chili and Z was already starting to get a cold. We rearrange the car so we could watch through the front windshield. By that time Z was frantic, there was no position that could settle her down. She started to whine, then get mad and cry. Her crying would be on and off, as we attempted to serve her every need, and want.  I handed Brady the baby, so I could get the pizza and drinks before the movie started. Needless to say I dropped 3 slices of pizza on the car floor ( 30 second rule right ;) ), and the candy all while the baby was getting mad. 

Our movie Insurgent started, and we tuned our radio for this big event I have been wanting to do. Ten minutes into the movie Z was restless, we became the car that everyone else noticed. Though the windows were up, we kept opening the car doors often as we tried different methods to calm the baby.  You know how you think you'll never be that annoying person during an event that makes others mad-Well I became that mom. At that moment I didn't care what other people were thinking, I just wanted to calm my baby down so she felt safe and I could have a date with my man. I don't even know what 15 minutes of the movie was about, I was having my own battle. Our SUV looked liked a clown car, with us coming in and out and random movements inside the car, trying to entertain an upset infant. I didn't want to go home, but eventually we buckled the screaming infant and drove.  To make sure we well liked, we drove right in front of other cars to exit, shining our lights inside their cars and on their faces. I think we were "popular". Z finally calmed down on the drive home. By the end of night, Brady and I were tired and annoyed at each other. I wanted to sob like a baby myself, nothing went right.  We came home and watched Castle, a show we watch together. I ate the candy, and drown my sorrows in a fanta soda. My guilty pleasure since I have been so careful about sweets as I am trying to get myself back to my desirable weight. At that moment when you lay in bed and want to cry, you just have to stop caring about calorie count. How could this planned event turn into a disaster, I was so sure of myself.  I have to remember that when you have children, nothing can be really planned, or expect the worse and hope for the best. That was my problem, I expected the best and hoped for perfection...haha what a joke! 

Do you guys out there have first date mishaps, or stories about the first date you try to have involving kids when you couldn't find a baby sitter? I would love to hear it! Leave me a comment.